fridaythethirteen

// feeling :: extremely sad
// prayer for :: my father

My dad came to talk to me when I was on the phone. He said...that he was asked to go back to East Timor again.

I can't imagine how I would feel - how my Mom would feel - if he were to accept it.He has a choice.

But its an honor to him as an ex-commandant. It would be selfish if he would reject it for us.I would hate to see him leave. Danielle was crying just now. I think maybe its because my father told her he was leaving too.

One year in 2003 was enough for us and my mom. Now if he accepts, he'll go for one year or more.I remember when he last went. I got used to not having a father. It was horrible. I got so used to it that when he came back, I took it as if he was still overseas, and wished he stayed there.

Now I dont want him to go because I'm afraid that would happen again.I wish they never approached him. How much would my Mom miss him?..

One year that time was almost unbearable for her. She came to us almost every night saying she missed him. Now that I'm closer to him, I dont want to imagine how much I'd miss him each night too.

It feels as if he's agreed to go. He still has a choice. But I can tell he wants to go. I'll miss him so much if he does.


sister posted it in her blog. the whole family is like under depression because of this. but for me i realise that i need him more now. its too late loh.

posted by danielleeee @ 10:26 AM